Discouragement is something that I am thinking a lot about.
I’ve been rather discouraged lately…things that I want to accomplish or goals I have for myself are not as easy to make happen when you have kids. If it was just me and the hubby or just us and the big kids these goals would be easier. But we have 2 littler ones and that means distractions, needs and sickness.
SICKNESS…has hit the toddler with a vengeance! He has been on antibiotics more in the last year than all of the other kids put together. He has been battling ear infections, throat infections, eye infections, and has had one bout of the stomach bug. We had tubes put in his ears in December and they are working but he still is getting ear infections. Also when this kid gets sick he gets sick…full on high fever and his neediness just goes through the roof. This week has been another week of sickness and another round of antibiotics for him. And he’s not kicking this as quickly as I want him to. I want him to be well and he’s not, and I’m frustrated and discouraged.
It’s so discouraging to be walking through this with him. I know its partially because he goes to preschool and is around lots of germs. I also know that once he gets past this phase of life he probably will be super healthy because his immune system will be exposed to lots of stuff but as your walking through the midst of the sickness or illness you feel discouraged. The toddler gets super clingy when he doesn’t feel good, he becomes needy and grouchy and its honestly exhausting. When I finally get him to bed the last thing I want to do is exercise or clean. I just want to collapse and either play on my phone, read a book, or just sleep!’
However, this is just a phase…this too will pass…I know this. I’ve been down this road before with my big kids. The toddler years will become the preschool years, the elementary years will become the middle school years and the high school years will become the college years….Instead of being discouraged I need to be encouraged that I have hope…it’s not a serious debilitating condition that we are dealing with. We are dealing with typical childhood ailments. For the most part my kids are healthy. In comparison with a lot of kids we are super healthy. But as your walking the path you tend to lose focus on the here and now as it looms so far ahead and you seem to be making so little progress.
But you don’t stay there…you stop, you change your focus, and you continue…
Step One: Modify the Standard
I have to lower my expectations of myself when illness is occurring. I need to show myself some grace and not beat myself up for having unrealistic goals when you are needed to cuddle and snuggle and love. They are only babies for a short time and only really want to cuddle for a few years. On the flip side I also have to not be content to use the kids as a crutch and not do what I need to do because I am tired or frustrated or just done…it’s about finding balance.
Step Two: Find Glimmers of HOPE
When you deal with discouragement sometimes you have to find the glimmers of encouragement along the way as well. Today I have been encouraged with simple things that I need to embrace rather than dismiss. My husband who works a lot of long hours let me stay in bed for almost 2 extra hours this morning so I could try and sleep some more. He turned on Moana and he and the toddler snuggled on the couch. The older children took a shift and played and watched the toddler so I could just go and veg out for awhile. I was able to lay down and relax for around an hour and let me tell you it was needed.
Step Three: Celebrate a Success!
Hooray! the 6 year old is getting on board with my daily cleaning routines he’s picking up his stuff with less complaints and fussing…so I guess I’m winning! We’re learning together to do stuff with a purpose and intention rather than waiting to deal with stuff later. It may not be what you want to do but it does help with things in the long run.
So how about you? Are you dealing with discouragement? What encouraging thing have you had today?
thiswannabewonderwoman 