Goals

Well…I’m Back

~ elj377 ~ Leave a comment

Happy 2026!

Can you believe it’s 2026? I can’t…and I’m feeling a little bit sheepish right now as I realized that I didn’t blog for an entire year….so…I guess I’m back? We will see? There will definitely be at least one post this year and that’s more than last year. So by that logic, I guess I’m already winning?

So what do I want to do with this blog and this upcoming year? Well…that’s a work in progress. I want to express myself and write about things that are good and fun…for years I have said that I need to write my memoir of my years teaching preschool. I have 25 years of kid stories…and I think that I have a lot of life lessons that can be drawn through those stories. So I’m going to finally start writing my book. I will then use this blog to post these chapters. Hopefully, I will get some feedback on whether they work or not. That will help me see if it is actually something….or if its just a pipe dream.

On another hand I am now living a much different life than I thought I would…I am not only a mom but also a bonus mom…and I am raising adults and younger children at the same time. There are life lessons that can be learned from all of that. A good way to work though these life lessons is writing about things and that makes them easier to digest. This blog can be a tool on my processing journey. It helps me navigate my current life with its unexpected challenges.

Finally I’m a well rounded woman. I have lots of ideas, thoughts and concerns…so this can be a place where I talk about what I am dealing with and feeling and desiring.

So I’m back to blogging…back to writing…trying to figure out what I want to say and do…here’s to 2026!

Thoughts on a New Year

~ elj377 ~ Leave a comment

The New Year is a good time to reflect, think and ponder about all the things that have happened the previous year and all the things you may want to happen differently in the coming year.

To be honest 2023 was a good year for me full of lots of good and big things. I got engaged, eloped, and moved across the country! We started the process of blending 2 families…which has been a whole different experience. I was able to really relax and not worry about working but focus mainly on being a mom. I have discovered that I enjoy cooking so much more when there is someone who truly enjoys the effort and care you put into the food you make. Having someone be appreciative of the little ways you help and who tells and shows you and equally helps with the process of making a home and family experience is amazing. 

There have been some challenges and adjustments that I am still getting used. I’m very comfortable with my own children. We have routines and structures that work for us…and blending into a new family has been challenging. My bonus kids also are not here as much as my kids are with us so the dynamic with 4 or 5 is a lot easier than with 7 or 8…depending on which adult children are around…if we are all here together than its 9 people…and that’s a large number of personalities, appetites and opinions. There is the issue of having enough space so that when people need a break or some quiet time there are options…thankfully we live in a large house with good spaces but at times it can be quite overwhelming. There also is defining my role as “bonus” Mom…my bonus kiddos have a Mom and live with her and trying to not jump immediately into Mom mode for the situations that primarily involve them is challenging. Also trying to figure out where appropriate boundaries are and when I need to help my husband parent and when I need to take a step back and let him do what he needs to is a new dynamic as well.

My boys have adjusted to our move but my third son really struggled with the whole process. He had a harder time adjusting to middle school than I expected and then the difficulty of being the new kid caused him to have his anxiety really spiral out of control. His diabetes can become an issue when he’s stressed and we have had a lot of vomiting issues and stomach troubles. Thankfully he is in an upswing and through good care from our Doctors he is doing better with his diabetic control and he is on a medicine which helps with his anxiety and I’m seeing more and more of my normal kiddo and not the angry kid I first saw a lot of after our move. The youngest is doing well as long as the routine is pretty set and standard…autism is challenging and his behaviors at school can be a struggle but we are continually working to try and help him thrive. 

So looking ahead…what does 2024 look like for us? Only God actually knows but I have some things that I want to work on and see happen in the the upcoming year.

I want to choose the adventures…go places, see things and experience things. My life for a long time was very small and I didn’t go places but I’m looking forward to getting to know a new city where we live and the beautiful parks and scenery around the part of the country where we live. I’m not going to let us be content with just being boring.

I want to choose love…to be present with my kids, to be the wife that my husband needs, to paint our home in love and grace…to have my kids feel comfortable and know that they are welcome no matter what! This goes for all the kiddos…not just mine but our whole big Bonus nest.

I want to stand up for what I deserve. Too often I find myself being a people pleaser and trying to make everyone else comfortable that in the process so that I’m well liked or accepted. However that only makes me a doormat and I’m not going to allow others to treat me as less or like I’m not worthy of time and attention. 

I want to continue to grow…I have been on a growth journey the last few years and I am not content to start to be stagnate or to limit my growth potential. I’m seeking and looking for good ways to make our home a healthy and happy place and to bring the good out of everyone so that we are growing and developing together.

Old and New

~ elj377 ~ Leave a comment

2023 is here…January

New Years is always a time of reflection for me. A look back at the last year and a checklist of sorts…did I do a good job, am I moving forward, what positives do I want to take with me into the next year, what things do I want to change. Last year I felt like my checklist was a list of the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. 2020 was a very hard year and 2021 was a year of radical life changes, 2022 was a year of unexpected and good things…so what will 2023 hold for me, for my kids and for our future?

2022 was a year where I started to like myself again. I feel like I had gotten lost through the journey of having a very difficult marriage and kids of multiple ages and stages. I wanted to be so good and appreciated that I contorted and twisted myself into something that I am not so that I could potentially make people happy and like me. And it didn’t work…there was always something more I needed to do or be and I could never, ever meet the expectation of that person because I wasn’t being myself I was being a shadow or a cutout of the person I am and should be. I have discovered that when I let myself be who God intended me to be and I don’t try to fit the unrealistic molds of others I have Freedom. Freedom to be me, freedom to show love, freedom to be loud, freedom to share and nurture in the process to grow and change and mature. I still feel the weight of expectation and push myself to be the best but instead of feeling like I am drowning from the weight of it all I am using it as a buoy or motor to push myself ahead.

2022 was a year of doing things for ME…I’ve been a Mom for 22 years and in that time I have rarely made time for ME. I put my kids and their needs ahead of mine so often and I feel guilty when I do things that are good for me first. I’m learning that I can’t pour and fill up others if my cup is empty. So I am learning and doing things that are good for ME. Taking time off from Motherhood and just being me again. I traveled this year…left the country and recharged my batteries. I’ve hired friends to watch my kids so I can take weekends off and go places, and I am stepping up more and demanding that the person I co-parent with to step up and do more so that I can recharge and relax and not have to be “on” all the time. I’m tired of living a small life and I want to do things and go places and have more experiences. I want less stuff and want to be present and experience things and have fun.

2022 was a year of unexpected and yet amazing re-connection. God has brought someone back into my life. A person that I didn’t see coming…was not on my radar at all. But this re-connection has become one of the most important and favorite parts of my life. I think it’s funny that when you give up control of a situation and stop looking or thinking about something God has a way of saying…okay, now you are ready…I’m going to do something good for you…but it’s not going to be what you think it’s going to be, it’s going to come with a whole lot of issues and logistics but I got you child…I’m doing something for your Good…you just have to Trust me.

So 2023…here we are…with 365 days to fill and experience and use to help me grow, mature and change. I’m excited to see what God will do in my life and the life of my kids. The big kids have big things looming on the horizon and as a Mom I am both excited for them and a little bit scared. My younger boys are continuing to challenge me to be the best Mom I can be and I am trying to fill their lives with new and good things. There will be struggles…we have Autism and Diabetes and some hurdles that will need to be considered and jumped over. There may be big changes…I don’t know yet. But I am confident that God is in Control and if I am trusting and seeking His will for me that I will see what unfolds in the coming year. So here’s to a New Year…lets see what will happen.

A New Year Ahead

~ elj377 ~ 2 Comments

2018….can you believe it’s 2018?

I’m still wrapping my mind around the fact that it’s 2018…seems like it was just yesterday when we were welcoming in the year 2000.  18 years have gone by in a blink and yet so much has happened in those 18 years.

That’s how life is…the moments seem so long but the years are so fast.  That’s where I am in my mothering.  Honestly I can’t believe where I am in the mothering process.  We have 4 kids.  Our oldest will turn 18 this year!  Graduating from High School in 5 months and 8 days! The countdown is on and I’m not ready to be the mother of a college student…I’m not…Senior year is half over and I am missing the days of 3rd and 4th grade with projects, silliness and a different life.  My next born is 15 this year and will turn 16 by the end of 2018…that means driving a car is in the near future.  I don’t like that idea…where’s my dude learning to ride a bike and a scooter…nervous about elementary school…not a Freshman is high school…taking Driver’s Ed this summer and making me develop gray hairs…not possible he’s that old.  The third one…turns 7 this year.  He’s learning to read and write complete sentences and asks more questions that I can imagine…and time isn’t moving as fast for me with him.   I think that the younger the child and the harder you have to work at the parenting of them that the days and hours and minutes seem so long…and yet I know I will blink in a few years and he will be 10 or 11 and entering the tween years.  Finally there is the youngest…he’s going to be 2 this year…and honestly he exhausts me the most.  He’s in that busy phase of life where he has to be involved in everything and he needs to be held and he’s not talking yet and there are tears…so many tears…and sometimes I cry as well because I feel like I’m going to break from the stress of everything…because the toddler years are hard.  They are full of spilled milk, runny noses, poopy diapers and tantrums.  They are also a lot of fun as you see new skills emerge and they smile at the silliest things and they still think you hung the moon.

It’s a process… I’m in the middle of the trenches and there is so much fun, laughter, tears, heartaches, frustrations and feelings of being overwhelmed.  To be honest I feel like I have screwed everything up most of the time and I don’t know why I get to be their mom.  I haven’t found many parenting books that cover both the teenage years and toddlerdom at the same time…honestly I wing it most of the time and I fail a lot.

So a new year looms…and I’ve been thinking and contemplating and getting my mind into a place of change.  I’m picking a word for me to claim this year.  I’ve done this in previous years and while I’ve not been great with it I did find it helpful to help me focus.

My word for 2018 is PURPOSEFUL…I am going to be involved and have a purpose behind what I do.  To have a purpose means that you have a goal in mind and you strive to find ways to meet that goal.  That’s my focus.  Set a goal, work that goal, conquer the goal.

Areas for me to be PURPOSEFUL…

Exercise…I will schedule time to exercise at least 4 times a week…whether I go to the gym, do some yoga at home, play at the park, take a walk….we will purpose to do exercise. I can’t let the excuse of work or other things keep me from exercise.  I only have one body and I need it to be strong and healthy.

God’s Word…I struggle with my Bible time.  I love the Lord with all my heart but I find myself struggling to find time to get into the Bible.  So far I have found 2 challenges…one on Facebook and one for me to apply the Bible Study method that my Pastor has taught us that I find helpful.

Experiences…I want my family to have purposeful experiences every month.  This may be time one on one with the teenagers, it might be a family activity, it might be cooking a special meal for them…I want them to look back and have experiences that they can remember of fun times with the family. I also need to connect with the hubby…he’s important and our time together needs to be quality time.

Eating and Drinking…I need to eat more Vegetables and Fruits…I’m a meat and potatoes girl and I love Dr. Pepper too much.  I need to be purposeful in drinking an appropriate amount of water and eating foods that will give me the fuel I need to help me navigate this life I live and we are busy and I am very content with fast and easy foods.

Housekeeping…let me tell you right now…I’m a horrible house keeper and my house is an obstacle course most of the time. I suffer continuously with CHAOS(Can’t have anyone over syndrome).  I blame the kids but honestly I don’t make them do enough and the house suffers and it’s stressful.  I am going to be purposeful in improving my habits so that our home is a comforting retreat and not another battlefield.

So what’s your word for 2018…what goals have you set for yourself?  I would love to chat and connect and be a part of each other’s lives as we take on this year of 2018.