I’ve been thinking a lot about the word effort this week. The word is defined as a vigorous or determined attempt. When you put forth effort it means that you try or attempt to do something to the best of your ability to help, achieve, encourage, determine. When you put forth effort with something you show that you value or want to benefit from the thing you are making an effort to do, show or attain.

I had a birthday this week. So did my husband. We are exactly 3 years and 1 day apart in age. I didn’t know what to expect this time around since the last birthday’s that we have celebrated we were long distance in our relationship…and honestly from a logistics point of view long distance was easier as we could just send gifts through the mail and not have anyone left out in the birthday meal, cake equations. I have 2 things that are a priority for me on my birthday…1 is I don’t cook…I don’t want to make my own food on my birthday…that doesn’t mean I have to be taken out for my birthday but if we are eating at home I’m not cooking the food…and 2 I want a birthday cake…preferably yellow cake with chocolate icing. If I get those 2 things I am a happy camper.

It’s weird getting married after you have kids. Both my husband and I came into the marriage with kids. When you are married and have kids in the household there really isn’t a honeymoon period…you just jump in and go. Plus we each have challenges with the custody schedules with our children so there has been very little time for just us. This year my husband had both his birthday and my birthday off. I haven’t gone back to work yet as I’ve been in a period of adjusting with my kids and the family so we had time on both days for just us…we don’t get a lot of just us time. On his birthday, while the kids were in school, we went to a local state park to view some waterfalls and possibly go hammocking…but it was kinda cold and about to rain so we just hiked a little bit and did a driving tour of the area. On my birthday, while the kids were off to school, we went and viewed a local national historic site and had a nice time just being together. We enjoyed a nice lunch out on his birthday and then I helped make his favorite meal for everyone(6 kids and us) and I baked him a cake…on my birthday he cooked a steak and potatoes dinner on the new grill we gifted each other and he attempted to make a cake…it tasted good but didn’t win points in the presentation department…and we celebrated each other and the life we each have led. We had time with the whole family on his birthday and game night for those interested and on my birthday we enjoyed time with my kids and watched a movie…all in all good days.

I kept coming back to the idea of effort…and why it matters to me. There is a statement that flies around that if they wanted to they would…and this is spot on. I’m a person who appreciates the effort that others put into what is important to me. I was asked what I wanted to eat, what matters to me and I was heard. Was it perfect…no, but the effort to try and make sure that I felt special and appreciated mattered and was definitely felt. When someone loves you they make sure that you feel loved and appreciated even when it’s not the ideal experience for you or what you necessarily like.

All in all I had an amazing birthday. As an added bonus I am loved and appreciated by someone who sees me for who I am and appreciates the little things and ways that I do stuff. I hope that on the flip side I made my husband also feel special and appreciated especially on his birthday.