Month: February 2024

Big Changes

~ elj377 ~ 1 Comment

My oldest child moved out when it was time for college. 

My second oldest child will move out tonight.

My third child was 7 years old when the oldest moved out…he’s now 12

My youngest child is currently 7 when his sibling moves.

Life is surreal…full of change and ups and downs. I’m excited for the opportunities and the future that both of my oldest kids have before them but at the same time I’m feeling nervous. My oldest is working in NYC and the second born will be moving in with the first born…and its good and exciting and needed but I’m also feeling overwhelmed by it all.

If I’m honest I don’t know what life will look like around here with out my second born being my emergency back up guy. Throughout my divorce and all the changes that occurred he was the biggest help and saved my butt so many times with little things that could easily have fallen through the cracks. And now he is moving…and I’m feeling all the feels. He is also a huge rock and fixed point in both of the little boys lives and I’m not sure how the adjustment period is going to go with them. There are a lot of what if’s right now.

I’m a ball of mixed emotions. I’m sad that he is going, I’m excited for the opportunities, I’m hopeful for the future, I’m nervous about the siblings living together, I’m relieved that the oldest 2 will have family near them. Mostly I’m proud. Proud of them for pursuing their dreams and making things happen.

So I may have a few trips to the Big Apple in my future…this Mama will need all the hugs and love from her babies!

Anti-Hero

~ elj377 ~ Leave a comment

People who play the victim always make me crazy.

People who shift blame and try to make you the problem

Taylor Swift gets it…she wrote Anti Hero and the line that resonates so well goes like this…

It’s Me, Hi…I’m the problem, It’s me…

There is one person in my life who makes me feel like the line above…the problem. Well, if I am the problem then HI….I’m the problem...get over it, move past it and put the past behind you. Stop trying to rope me in and feel sorry for you. I’m sorry that I have not done things your way or in a way that benefits you. I’m sorry that I have moved on, progressed in my life and found a much happier place to live. Grow up, you are not the victim…you made your choices and now you have to live with the consequences of your actions. The script could have been written differently but no….you made choices that impacted things and here we are…get over it and stop blaming me for everything.

Trauma bonding is real and so challenging to get past but here we are…I’m claiming my happiness and leaving you behind. I’m sorry that things are this way but I’m tired of living with your shame, pain and unhappiness. I have challenges and struggles, that is a part of life but I’m choosing to move forward not constantly trying to pull you back into the past or rehash how I have wronged you. I’m making choices that you may not like…but oh well…here we are….and get over yourself. You are not the victim…there is no victim…we were toxic, there was pain, there was anger and you didn’t want to fix the problems…you wanted me to fix myself and make your life easier…well sorry…that didn’t work for 21 years and it isn’t working now….we are done, we are over and you need to leave me ALONE! You decided I wasn’t worth it…and you know what you have learned I was worth it…so the jokes on you…

Stop with the victim mentality….you made your choices, I’ve made mine and I have moved on…do the same…it may help you…but get some professional help before you do….she deserves a better version of you than I got.