I’m learning to redefine who I am.

For a long time I was very defined by the role of wife…and I’m no longer a wife. I’m now an ex-wife, a former wife, a once wife…all terms that are hard. I really wish that I was a widow instead of divorced. It would totally be easier and I don’t think I would be drowning in the stigma that comes along with being divorced.

Learning to define new boundaries between myself and my former spouse is REALLY HARD…he doesn’t get that we don’t do things together anymore…like picking out new phones on phone plans.

We decided that we would stay on the same phone plan because it’s too hard to figure out how to separate all 3 of the kids lines and it’s more affordable for both of us to stay on the same plan…but its time to upgrade…and he wants us to do it together…aka…I figure out the best phones and then take care of it…

I don’t know how to get him to realize that I am not picking out his stuff anymore…it’s not my place nor do I care.

Just pick a phone and be done…stop treating our new roles as just another way to make me be what you want.

YOU chose this…YOU didn’t want to go to counseling….YOU said that my life would be so much harder…YOU think I need you…reality is another story.

I’m in counseling and rediscovering who I am and finding potential for growth.

My life really hasn’t changed that much and it’s not that much harder without you and now that I don’t have to put up with your nonsense things are working better and I am not as stressed by superficial things

I really don’t need you…in fact I have said it often that it would actually be easier if you had died instead of us getting divorced because then you would be completely out of the picture…the only challenge right now is working around you.

I guess I don’t need you…I’m figuring out life on my own and to be honest this redefinition may be a benefit in disguise.

I’m doing things I have wanted to do for a while and it may be challenging and new I’m excited for what can be.

I’m figuring out how to do things independently and well

I’m redefining who I am and who I will be…